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  • Writer's pictureedwardianjackal

Hard Night Oysters

Thumbing through the venerable Esquire's Handbook for Hosts they recommend a top off at the end of the night for 'Oysters and Celery from Billy the Oysterman'. I appreciate both ingredients for helping stabilize one after a focused night of hard liquors...but the version I recommend is fast and full of protein and fats. The timidity to hit the hay will turn to confidence!

Hard Night Oysters:


- x2 canned whole oysters

- x4 cloves of garlic

- black pepper (freshly cracked is best)

- x4 tablespoons of butter

- 1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese (deli style is best)

- x1 tablespoon of bread crumbs (or crumble toasted bread)

- lemon to taste


- In a small sauce pan over medium heat, melt the butter, add garlic and pepper, allow garlic time to soften, stirring slowly but constantly

- Turn down heat, add all oysters and slowly stir until a proper amount of heat is applied (as these are canned, they are already prepared)

- When the magical elixir is close, turn down the heat further, add the Parmesan cheese (I typically add the lemon at this point, but I understand if others like it after)

- Don't allow the cheese to cook, turn down the heat and remove from warm burner to cool, sprinkle a light amount of bread crumbs (personally I don't like too many)

- Serve in a small bowl or over crackers if you have company

- Bonus: drink a Clamato along with, and you'll wake up feeling right as rain!

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